to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
