First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
