Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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