help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
