Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
