Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
