operation harelip BJ is a go
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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