He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
