I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
