I want to walk on stilts...naked
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
