We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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