Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize