How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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