And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
