its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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