we have pet lesbian snakes
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
