So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
