This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
