If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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