I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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