I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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