I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize