belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
