Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize