OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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