yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
