Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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