Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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