Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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