just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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