Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
