Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
