White coat. Heels.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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