Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
