saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
