i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
