I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
