when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
