well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
