found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
