He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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