i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Farmville is her only friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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