So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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