Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
