Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
