tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
