I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
