Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
