we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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