i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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