Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
