I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
