come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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