And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
