Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize