she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
