People with herpes should wear stickers.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
