I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize