Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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