I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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