Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize