He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
