is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
