question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
