I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
