The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
