Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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