their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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