hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
