He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize