Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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