omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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