She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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